Ability to persevere with tasks. A possible by product of a media-loaded childhood is that it’s high energy, bright lights, loud music, and fast-paced style makes everything else we expect kids to wrap their heads around pale by comparison in the excitement department. Books just sit there, they don’t really do anything. Learning is not a passive process, but kids have come to expect a high level of stimulation and pleasure in almost all of their activities.
Kids often come into school expecting their teacher to put on a song and dance for them, and unfortunately, many schools have bought into this, and put pressure on teachers to make lessons more and more entertaining. But this may be doing kids a disservice in the long run. It runs counter to the reality that learning is hard work. Kids need to be able to stick with something regardless of their level of interest. They need to problem solve their way out of roadblocks and work past frustration. There are many tasks we have to do in life that are difficult or less than thrilling, and not preparing kids for this reality is unfair.
Ability to delay gratification. The commercialism of our society fosters a “get what you want when you want it” mentality. Children raised on a diet of TV commercials that promote the immediate acquisition of products as the way to true happiness can have a hard time being involved in any activity that doesn’t have an instant payoff. Even in an academic arena, students don’t want to be bothered to learn something unless it’s going to “be on the test”.
A study was done years ago where young children were offered a choice: They were given a marshmallow, but told that if they could wait until the researcher returned, they could have two. Left alone with the marshmallow, some children invented ways to distract themselves, and were successful in the task. Others were not. Not surprisingly, it was those children who were able to successfully delay that had higher academic achievement down the line.
What Can You Do?
- Expose kids to experiences that don’t have an immediate “payoff”. Help them see and enjoy the benefits of working on a long term project, such as building something. Help them recognize the pride that comes from hard work and accomplishment.
- Introduce kids to quiet activities that don’t plug in, have flashing lights, or loud noises. Ideally, these activities would involve social interactions, problem-solving, and creative thinking.
- Encourage kids when they encounter obstacles and setbacks. Help them problem solve alternatives.
- Challenge kids with activities that make them stretch. Show them that you believe they can do more than they realize.
Susan Carney - I have been working as a middle school counselor with 6th and 7th grade students for the past thirteen years. I received a BA in ...
