Every youth program struggles with peer relationships. Everyone has worked with kids who don't fit in, kids who are bossy, and kids who don't get along. Peer problems can make it difficult to run your program smoothly. Try these ideas for helping kids learn how to work together effectively.
Strive for Fairness
One of the most common complaints kids make is that something “isn’t fair.” They are very adept at recognizing when expectations and consequences are not applied evenly, and it angers them. Worse, when kids see adults show partiality to certain students, resentment can breed. Teens that are perceived as “favorites”, whether correctly or incorrectly, can be shunned or ridiculed by the larger group. By implementing your program evenly, you can avoid this threat to the cohesiveness of your group.
Help Kids Get to Know Each Other
Before kids can work together effectively, they have to know and trust one another. Try some group icebreakers to help teens start to feel comfortable with each other. You might want to avoid allowing kids to select their own groups: they tend to choose people they already know. Mix the kids up for projects and activities so they aren’t always working with the same people. This forces them to go beyond their typical “comfort zone” and get to know kids they might not otherwise interact with.
Provide Opportunities for Cooperation
Try to structure activities so teams have to work together in order for them to be successful. Be sure to set up ground rules first, especially for kids who have little experience with this type of structure. Team building games are a fun way to accomplish this. Cooperative activities are best used for games and other ungraded activities. Be careful when grading students on group work: if groups are unevenly matched, less able students can cause resentment among their peers.
Reduce Competition
Try to avoid activities that put students in direct competition with one another. These kind of activities do little to encourage team building, and may in fact inhibit it. Behaviors that contribute to edging out a competitor are not usually conducive to developing an environment of cooperation. Students may become so focused on “winning” that they begin to put others down, argue about close calls, or complain about the skills of those assigned to their “team.” Anger, guilt, shame, and resentment can be common results of too much competition between kids.
Provide Kids With a Voice
If possible, offer kids the opportunity to have a say in the expectations, consequences, and activities of your group. Holding regular group or class meetings, when done right, empowers kids to help create and maintain the very system they are a part of. This easily translates to kids feeling a sense of “ownership” in the program. Once this happens, they are more invested in the cohesiveness of the group.
Susan Carney - I have been working as a middle school counselor with 6th and 7th grade students for the past thirteen years. I received a BA in ...
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